Unlike my previous review of Raiders of the Lost Ark, I have no prior knowledge of the story line or characters involved in Swordquest: Fireworld. Whereas with Indy, I knew he wanted nothing more than to keep precious artifacts out of the hands of nazi occultists and maybe steal a few hearts along the way, I have no clue what drives the Swordquest hero. What's he all about? What are his favorite foods? Who is he rooting for on the Celebrity Apprentice? And how did he get himself mixed up in this maddening maze of bullshit puzzles and "games"? (games in quotes for sarcastic effect. Get it? The games suck, so if you were talking to me, I would make air quotes when I said "games". See?) Anyway, here's a really quick breakdown of the gameplay. I think the whole point of this game is to move from room to room (like the one above) and beat a series of mini-games (like the one below). The problem is these mini-games are not very self-evident as to how they can and should be beaten. I spent most of the time trying to figure out if I was the bird-like creatures falling from the sky or the rainbow colored box at the bottom. Fucking thrill ride, right? 
That's basically the point where I gave up on this game. I tried to play through about five or six of these little games with no apparent luck on any of them. I say "apparent" because I'm not sure if I beat some of them or not. I don't know how you would know. Maybe you get a prize. Maybe if you win one of them the game just turns itself off and you realize that it's a nice day outside. That would be the only victory here. So, that's the gameplay. In my opinion, it's shit. I don't know what the first real success was for the action-adventure genre, but this is not it.
That's basically the point where I gave up on this game. I tried to play through about five or six of these little games with no apparent luck on any of them. I say "apparent" because I'm not sure if I beat some of them or not. I don't know how you would know. Maybe you get a prize. Maybe if you win one of them the game just turns itself off and you realize that it's a nice day outside. That would be the only victory here. So, that's the gameplay. In my opinion, it's shit. I don't know what the first real success was for the action-adventure genre, but this is not it. I had the grand idea here to create some sort of backstory for this character, but I feel like that would be putting too much effort into a game I spent 12 minutes playing. I don't even know where I would start. I'm not really even sure what the nature of this Swordquest was. Was I using a sword to complete my quest or was I questing with the goal of finding a sword? Oh, also, it's supposed to be fireworld, but I never saw any fire. A lot of rainbows, but no fire. I feel cheated. So, after two games, I need a reprieve from action-adventure. For next time: MegaMania: A Space Nightmare. Christ, what an epic title! I think I'm going to try to beat this one. Stay tuned.
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